I would share this redition this far, but something is keeping me from doing that just yet. Maybe it's the fact the prologue and first chapter are as long as the last redition was in it's entirety as a short story. I'm not sure where this will go, I'm partway through chapter two and already I can tell this albatross that's been around my neck for fifteen years leading to obsession is rearing is head again fully. My mind races at what I've written and how it's progressing, how the characters have changed and grown.
One thing I will share I guess is I have an actual date it's set in. The story begins in April of 2012. Remember then? Gods that was a time, good and bad. The rampant homophobia, the turn of LTE really becoming available as phones went to 4G, the death of the modern scene culture as we knew it, Netflix asking "Are you still watching," Minecraft had only been officially out on PC for five months, the so called apocalypse breathing down our necks, hell the first Samsung Note model had only been out for half a year. I remember high school then, though I wasn't a senior like our cast of characters are in this.
Thinking back to my first post in 2025 since returning to this blog, you ghosts are there too. Especially R, but you've always been part of this story from the beginning, you helped edit some of the original for me even. I hope you still write, maybe even make little short stories for your kids? J you're an entirely different story, you're not remembered for much in it, but in spirit technically. That's not meant to be a jab at you, just your love for musicals, writing, and and some of how you looked live in these pages I've been writing. S/I you haven't been featured yet, but when I started the sixth revision during high school we knew each other and I had started making a character after you, not that I ever told you that I think. Your love for music and some of your struggle with self identity and the fight between what's expected of you and who you wish to be was meant to be their story. Not sure it it'll still be the same, but only time will tell.
All of that to say these parts of you, my three ghosts, is aspects of the parts I loved about you all. Well I didn't love that you, S/I, had to go through the whole self identity thing, but seeing you become yourself I loved. There's plenty other ghosts in the pages of my dreams and story. I don't think it'd be what it is without you all. The ghosts of loved ones long gone from my life for whatever reason, the memories I still cherish live there. Times replicated with a new set dressing, new setting, all brought forth again and reminding me of how much I cared for some of you even of things fizzled out or worse happened.
Thank you my ghosts. Fuck you for hurting me if you did still, but thanks for the times I loved you too.
Sincerely and with too much vigor for 5 am and not having slept cause I was staying up writing and editing,
- G.
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